(staring thirty in the face)

It wasn't suppose to be
like this
I was not suppose to be
staring thirty in the face
and single

what went wrong?

there is no husband
only my overly fluffy blanket
to warm me
to comfort me

there are no children
only my cuddly kitty
to love me unconditionally

there is no career
only my job
to have the freedom
to do what I please

what went right.

there are friends
who lift me up
when the sea
threatens to drown me

there is freedom
to make new dreams
new plans
to not have my life
revolve around anyone
other than me

it wasn't suppose to be
like this
I was not suppose to be
staring thirty in the face
and thinking
my life has only
just begun

(a time all my own)

A copy of Persuasion
some mellow non-distracting tunes
a fear of sneaky spiders
boxes unpacked
fuzzy furry boots
Nebraksa red men's sweat pants
matched with a pink hooded Jem sweatshirt
Poems to be read
Poems to be written
songs to be played
a song is playing
a half eaten bag of chips
the sun and the moon
a soft couch that supports my back
Legs curled up to make a desk
rolls of wrapping paper
mostly drunk bottles of liquor
the clink of kitty's collar on her bowl
Alice in Kitchenland
the flopped over aloe
urges to draw
fears to follow through
red man stuck with knives
couches from the 70s
pink from the tweens
easy to talk to some
harder to speak to others
days & nights
ocean waves & tides
unnecessary calls
skip a beat
rhetorical listening print
a single lonely paperclip

(the crazed mixed up girl)

sitting in the back of the bus
deep in thought
fervently writing
and reading poetry
in her own world
processing through
with her blue headphones
and patterned tote bag

(the dreams I have weaved)

the dreams I weaved as a child
have come unraveled
ravaged by lost souls
with misconceptions about love
after the massacre,
I take the time
to re-weave what has been shredded
composing a new weave
with a similar pattern
the colors fade with time
but the pattern is coaxed to
new creativity and the ability
to move with its surrounds
becoming stronger and more confident
in this newly weaved pattern

lull

the time has almost come, for some more writing to share....